Community Calendar

Football and Love

date night gottman love relathionshipresearch relationships valentines Feb 04, 2024

This year Valentine’s Day and the Superbowl share the same week - Superbowl on Sunday - Valentines on Wednesday.   How silly for me to schedule a Valentines Partner Yoga Workshop on Superbowl Sunday.   Football or love?  Needless to say, the best option is to separate the events and do Valentines on Valentine's Day rather than create a conflict when love is the focus.  So the workshop wiil now be on Wednesday. 

A common belief about relationships is that if a couple does not share common interests and activities then their relationship is difficult.  However, according to relationship researcher and expert Dr. John Gottman, this does not hold true.  Many couples enjoy very diverse interests and pursuits and still have an amazing relationship.  Sometimes these diverse interests nourish the relationship greatly.  They don't have to become an either/or.  As our world changes these diverse interests have become even more common.  In one couple I know, John likes to spend winter Sundays sitting in front of the fire knitting woolen hats.  His partner prefers to be out on a rock face with an ice pick. And they both love it the way it is.

What is more important is the level of “positive sentiment” built up towards each other in the relationship.  With what Gottman calls “positive sentiment override” in place, (think “good vibes" money in the bank), relationships become a place to celebrate the uniqueness and richness of being human and appreciate the diversity – for ourselves and our mate.  So how do we go about getting some of this positive sentiment override in our relationship?

This weekend, whether you watch the Superbowl together or go out to dinner, you may also want to increase your joint emotional bank account independent of both activities. 

As a yogi and a Buddhist, I hold relationships as a place to practice love.  One of my teachers once told me that relationships are the most difficult form of spiritual practice but also the most rewarding.  I like the challenge in that awareness.  So my intention is how to show up in a relationship in ways that create the fertile ground for love to flourish.   It's such a powerful practice that I also help others with it in my Yoga Therapy sessions and workshops for couples. I use principles derived from yoga, mindfulness, and psychology to experientially engage our bodies and learn from them how to better cultivate a garden of love in our relationships.   I offer one of these each year around Valentine’s Day. What is different this year is the clash of Super Bowl Sunday with Valentine’s Day Eve.  So, this year, I’m offering two separate time slots so that anyone who is into both football and building the love bank can be accommodated. 

If you and your mate attend the Valentine's event on Wednesday 14th, you’ll be guided in a series of embodied experiences and invited to notice yourself in a relationship in a variety of ways.  You will uncover many of the unique strengths and gifts that you each bring to the relationship. You will also explore how to bring these gifts into a clearer focus in your daily life.  This process will create a great platform for celebrating the love you share and make this a most memorable Valentine’s Day.  You will appreciate the “positive sentiment override” you can create together.

Follow the link below and sign up for either the workshop just before the big game or one the following evening on Valentine’s Day.  I’d love to welcome you and help you get the best of everything in your life, perhaps even football and deeper love. 

Marriages are much more likely to succeed when the couple experiences a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions 

John M. Gottman

 

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